Bust a Fertility Myth: You're Still Young, You Have Plenty of Time!

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) April 24th-30th, our friends at Resolve have asked the blogosphere to bust some infertility myths!

Bust a Fertility Myth: You're Still Young, You Have Plenty of Time!

Oh, if I only had a nickel for each time I've heard that.

Of course, when I was young - in the maternal sense - I didn't know I would have fertility problems. I thought I had all the time in the world. I got married at 29, and thought I'd be knee deep in babies by now. Not so.

When I went off of birth control pills several years ago, my doctor assured me that after a few months I'd be pregnant. A few months passed, then a few more. A few months turned into a few years. Same doctor, same story...you're young don't worry, you have plenty of time! Take these pills and come back in a few months...

If I had it all to do over again, I would have been careless! I would have stopped using protection and trapped my boyfriend (now husband). Why not? Everybody else does it.

No matter what you hear, time is NOT on your side! If you are planning on starting a family, go see your doctor now and have a few simple tests done. You may find out that you are fertile, and your body is ready to go when your mind is. On the other hand, you may find out that you have a looooong road ahead, like millions of other unlucky women. Either way, it's never too soon to find out!



Learn more about Resolve and NIAW here: http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/


and here: http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html

Bust a Fertility Myth: Relax...it'll happen!

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) April 24th-30th, our friends at Resolve have asked the blogosphere to bust some infertility myths!

Relax, it'll happen! Try not to think about it. Go on a vacation!


My husband and I try to take a trip every summer. We usually start planning at the beginning of the year. Our first question is always, "what if we get pregnant before then?" So we plan our vacation around that thought. Where can we go that will be pregnant-lady friendly? My first choice is always somewhere beachy, while the hubs is happy going anywhere away from work...as long as there is a TV with a sports channel. As our vacation time draws closer, we realize we aren't pregnant...again. Then the plans for our vacation turn into the Let's Make a Baby Trip. This is the trip that it will happen! I can't wait until our child finds out that he or she was conceived in Jamaica...Hawaii...Las Vegas...Jamaica again. We force ourselves to wait a month after vacation to take a pregnancy test...which comes back negative. Always.

If vacationing were the answer to infertility, I wouldn't be writing this post!  Seriously, infertility is the only disease that people seem to think can be cured by a day at the spa or by going on vacation. IT CAN'T.

As April comes to an end...I'm looking forward to our vacation in June. The plane tickets are in hand, the room is booked. This time, I think we'll try to just have fun!

Learn more about Resolve and NIAW here:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/what-is-infertility/

and here:


http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html

Fertility and Stress

I'm a bit behind with my posting...last week the fertility group discussed stress and its effects on fertility.

I've always heard that stress can have adverse effects on the body, but I was surprised to learn about some of the effects it has on fertility. Some of the fertility-stress facts I learned are that stress:

• Is the most significant block to getting pregnant
• Disrupts hormone production
• Can hinder adequate blood-flow to the uterus
• Can lead to poor follicular quality
• Negatively effects the FSH test - can result in false results 

 Those of us who are unfortunate enough to be on the infertility roller-coaster know that it is just that...a roller-coaster. There are good days, bad days, and really really bad days. How do you relax when your mind just won't let you? Here are some of the stress-relieving techniques we learned about:

• Create positive affirmations, and recite them daily
• Think positive
• Meditate
• Do deep breathing exercises
• Create a gratitude journal

So what does all of this mean for me? Well, infertility is extremely stressful in and of itself. And that stress causes more stress which, in turn, causes a chain reaction in my body. I really wish I could turn off the worry like a light switch, but I can't. But I WILL make a concerted effort to deal with my stress head on, rather than keeping it all bottled inside.

Fertility Diet

This week in the Fertile Attraction group we discussed...FOOD! Fertile food, that is.

I was surprised to learn that low fat and fat free isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm so used to suffering through watery skim milk and rubber cheese...but I guess I can learn to like full fat yogurt, cheese, and milk...if I must! *sigh* 

In truth, I'm already on a diet; (aren't I always? I swear, for someone who has been dieting her whole life, how the hell can I still be fat??????) but I'm excited to make some simple changes. My current diet is about 1,000 calories or less a day. For breakfast I have a GNC protein shake (made with skim milk), followed by a banana mid-morning. For lunch, I have another GNC protein shake (made with water) and an apple, or nectarine, or peach. Mid-afternoon I have a serving of high fiber cereal (dry), or a Fiber One bar. Sometimes I'll have another piece of fruit on the way home or before dinner...which is usually a chicken wrap and a salad, or something like that. I've decided to ditch the skim milk and go for organic yogurt with the morning shake, and for the afternoon shake I'm going to add some greens.

I'm debating adding a fertility superfood like maca to my diet too. I had a short two week run with royal jelly....but wasn't aware that people with severe bee allergies shouldn't take royal jelly! That explained my recent asthma attacks, migraines, hives, leg swelling, and dizzyness! My Dr. said I could have died....ooopsie doodle! SO, needless to say, before I add maca or anything else to my diet, I'm going to thoroughly check it out first!

I'll keep you posted!

Turning 35 as a childless freak

I turned 35 today. The earth was not swallowed by a black hole, I was not struck down by a bolt of lightning, and I didn't wake up with a head full of gray hair. And NO, I didn't expire!

If I thought I had a hard time when I turned 30, I DREADED turning 35. I know that in the scheme of things, 35 is not that old...but in terms of life span, my life is pretty much half over! I can't help but feel a little underwhelmed, and overwhelmed at the same time.

Underwhelmed...this is it? This is my life?

Overwhelmed...I have so much left to do! I haven't accomplished even a fraction of what I intended to accomplish by this age. I saw myself married, with a brood of kids - remember my 18 year plan??? - a happy housewife with a happy husband and a bunch of happy kids....with my 5th or 6th novel, best seller of course; on its way to production. Well, I AM married! Dear husband is a wonderful man...my soulmate, if such things exist. I love him indescribably, and he is the reason I am able to get out of bed on most days, when the depression is a physical pain - not just a mental pain.

I think the main reason I'm having such a hard time with this turning 35 business is due to my fertility issues. I'm now in the "Advanced Maternal Age" category. Our struggles will only get harder from here....any pregnancy is automatically high risk...risk of a baby with chromosomal defects goes to 1:400 My eggs, if I have any left, are now dusty...coughing and sputtering like a '75 Mustang! All of this because I didn't have a baby in my 20's? Or even early 30's????

I've been trying to maintain a healthy level of sanity as this dark day doomed on my horizon. I've been thinking of my friends, and how gracefully (or at least not maniacally) they turned 35. And for some, then 40. 45. Even a few in their 50's. I've been visualizing their grace, and trying to use it as an example for how I should act. But then again...here we come, full circle. The reason for their happiness? KIDS. Kinda hard to be upset about getting older and having dusty eggs when you're already blessed with kids! Advanced Maternal Age doesn't apply to already-moms, no, that's another pain reserved for us barren semi-women! I've had clueless moms say things to me like, "You're 34 and have no kids? What do you do with your time, you must be so relaxed on the weekends!"  Yep, that's me. Mrs. Relaxed...cool as a cucumber.

It's almost midnight, and I've survived this day! Whew...I can breathe! NOW...to make it through the next 365 days...

Marketing Mommyhood

Choosy mom's choose Jif.
Kix. Kid tested, mother approved.
Mom's depend on Kool-Aid like kids depend on mom.
Because that's the kind of mom you are. (Kellog's cereal)

Mom, mommy, mother...everywhere I look. I can't even go to the grocery store without a visual assault of what a poor excuse of a woman I am! Will Jif taste just as good if I have no kids? Can I still drink Kool-Aid, even though the kids that depend on me have four legs and tails?

Marketing strategies and slogans have always been an irritant to me, even before my fertility struggles. I've never been the type to buy a product because a 30 second TV spot tells me to, especially because I envision a group of misogynistic men sitting around a table discussing ways to help me have a happy period. Always.

And don't get me started on print ads.

Cracking the code

Okay, okay, that was mean! I didn't even explain what my previous post meant, for those of you lucky enough not to speak infertility! Here's the original:

I stopped BCPS and have been TTC for over 5 years. I am so tired of the POC; and holding my FMU to take my BBT...just to get a BFN after a stressful/exciting 2WW before AF arrives to ruin my day. Gotta CIO again.

And the translation:

I stopped Birth Control Pills and have been Trying To Conceive for over 5 years. I am so tired of the Process of Conception, and holding my First Morning Urine to take my Basal Body Temperature...just to get a Big Fat Negative (pregnancy test) after a stressful/exciting 2 Week Waiting period before Aunt Flow arrives to ruin my day. Gotta go Cry It Out again.

I will post a list of more abbreviations soon...you're gonna need 'em!